For Elizabeth and James, having a family has been shaped by moments of deep loss, new beginnings, and the everyday chaos of parenting young children. With Home-Start’s support, they’ve found practical help, friendship, confidence and a safe place.
Elizabeth’s story
“I first got in touch with Home-Start Renfrewshire and Inverclyde just before COVID. I was planning to volunteer. I wanted to help others, especially those dealing with epilepsy, because my partner Craig had it, and we were often stuck indoors. He’d have seizures anywhere on the stairs, in the street. It was scary, especially for our little one who was just two.
“And then everything changed. One day, he wasn’t feeling well, so I let him rest. When I checked on him just 30 minutes later, he was gone. He died from a seizure. I still remember going in the bedroom and seeing him face down on the bed. I can’t explain what that moment did to me.
“I’d posted something online and Lisa from Home-Start saw it and reached out. She asked if I needed help, and I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done without that call. From that day on, Home-Start became my safe place.
“At first, support came through phone calls from my volunteer Margaret as it was lockdown. But once groups started back-up, I joined the weekly parent group. It gave me something to hold on to. Home-Start was a constant companion through my immediate grief. Their support helped me and my daughter in so many ways.
“Three years later I met my partner James. And when we became pregnant with our son I knew I needed Home-Start back in my life. That pregnancy was terrifying. After everything that had happened, I was constantly on edge. I had PTSD and anxiety. I kept thinking something would go wrong again. I even had to be rushed into surgery and put under general anaesthetic. Just before going under, I remember begging them, “Please save my baby.”
“They did. My boy made it. But I’ve never stopped being anxious. I worry when he eats just in case he chokes. But Home-Start understand. They never judge, they just listen.
“We’ve got five kids between us. James’s amazing, but he struggles with anxiety too, especially after watching me go through a traumatic birth. So I encouraged him to go to a Dad Matters group. I went with him the first time and he’s been going ever since.
“Now we’ve both made great friends. Some of us mums have our own WhatsApp group now. Our kids have playdates. We’re not just parents at a group anymore we’re a little community.”
James’ story
“I first heard about Home-Start through Elizabeth my fiancée. She’d been going to the groups and one day said, “There’s a new dads’ group starting, you should give it a try.” It gave me something to do with the kids on a Saturday and a bit of space for myself too.
“At first, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But it became something really special. It was a safe place, no judgement. Just other dads, chatting about whatever was going on whether it was parenting stuff or just life. Some days you just needed to sit down and say, “This is what’s on my mind.” And there was always someone there who’d listen.
“Michelle, one of the group workers ran great activities with the kids too with her team. You didn’t need to stress, there was time to talk and just be. And the best bit? You were just a dad in that space. No pressure to be anything else. It helped me come out of myself. I made genuine friendships with a few of the other dads, and we still keep in touch.
“It also helped my confidence. Sometimes when you’re at baby groups with your partner, she’s chatting away and you’re just standing in the background, feeling awkward. But here, you could talk freely, with no embarrassment.
“I work full-time during the week, so having something just for me on a Saturday while still spending time with the kids was amazing. And it gave Elizabeth a break too.
“Looking back, I saw a real change in Elizabeth when she started going to Home-Start. They supported her when she was pregnant, especially after losing her partner. They were there when she was down, when she needed someone to talk to, and when she didn’t know where to turn.
“If I met a dad who was struggling like I was, I’d say come along. You don’t have to talk at first. You don’t even need to say anything if you don’t want to. But just being there around other people who get it can make a massive difference. It’s a place where you can offload the stuff you can’t always say to your family. And once it’s off your chest, you feel lighter.
“There’s laughter too. It’s not all heavy. We have fun, we joke around. And that’s what makes it work, you get support, but you also feel normal again.
“Together, we’ve faced a lot. Grief, anxiety, trauma, and just the everyday chaos of raising a family of five. But thanks to Home-Start, we haven’t had to do it alone. They’ve made us feel stronger, not just as individuals, but as a family.”